I just did a search for “Towson University” in Yahoo! News, looking for anything and everything to stimulate my creative writing triggers, and BAM… I stumble upon a fucking goldmine.
 
Yesterday, WJZ ran a story (and also an article on its website accompanied by the video) about Nicole Burlew, a 19 year old Towson University student who is running for mayor of Aberdeen, Maryland.
 

(WJZ) ABERDEEN, Md. She’s just 19, but an Aberdeen teenager wants to become the city’s next mayor.
 
Kai Jackson reports even though Nicole Burlew is not old enough to drink, she has unveiled her campaign platform.

 
I was intrigued from the get-go because she’s cute and she may be a MAYOR soon (men are attracted to power too, you know). But then to find out that she’s a Towson student… that was the icing.
 
One thing I found hilarious about WJZs reporting was that I noted three separate occasions where they mention that she’s not old enough to drink, yet she’s running for mayor. Okay, idiots, I get it. Stop saying that. Come up with a better comparison like “She’s not even old enough to rent a car, ” or “She’s not even out of college,” or “She’s not even old enough to have had the compassion sucked out of her by the political system.”
 
She has an awesome situation. I mean, granted, I don’t know shit about politics but this is Marketing 101. She gets instant publicity because of the novelty of her age. Also, her opponents can’t talk shit about her without looking like Satan (seriously, watch the video and see how they speak about her).
 
The problem is that, no matter what anyone says, she’s going to have trouble being taken seriously. The whole story on WJZ, and the way the candidates and constituents talk about her… it all has this “aw thats so cute,” kind of vibe to it. She should just bust out a nasty smear campaign and wipe the shit-eating grin off of all their faces.
 
Anyways, I hope she reads this. Good luck, and please marry me.