I was walking over to 7-11 just now, not ten minutes ago, when a woman handed me a folded piece of paper.
 
Earlier in the day I had been asked by this young-intellectual looking sort of guy, on the same corner outside of 7-11, if I had a minute “for the environment.” I did, in fact, have a minute for the environment but I know what he really meant was “Do you have money that you are willing to give me for the environment?” The answer to THAT question was “no.”
 
Anyways I assumed this lady was affiliated with the guy from earlier, so I accepted her pamphlet and kept walking as I still didn’t have any money for the environment. As soon as I unfolded it, however, I realized that A) she certainly wasn’t associated with any sort of environmental organization and B) I had seen some of her literature before, posted on telephone poles around Towson. This time, I decided to take a minute and read it… for shits and giggles. Having read it all the way through, all I have to say is….. WOW.
 
If you want to read the whole thing (I just HAD to type it up), just scroll down a little bit. It’s kind of long, but quite entertaining if you persevere. Do yourself a favor and read to the end.
 
The paper is covered front and back by a very “fuck the government” style handwriting. On each side, the text is framed on the top and bottom by quotes; two from Frederick Douglass, one each from Ida B. Wells and W.E.B. DuBois.
 
I mean… I could try to explain the absurdity of this thing but you really have to read it yourself. It requires no additional commentary from me. It’s two pages worth of mind terrorism, secret government technologies, involuntary surgery to implant nano-chips into people’s brains, and something about the KKK. What’s really funny, though, is that having read the entire thing I have absolutely NO IDEA what this is supposed to be about. I’m not so much scared for my safety/privacy as I am tempted to go watch the Matrix again. And then do shrooms. And then separate the frontal lobe of my brain with a hammer and chisel. Perhaps then I’ll understand.
 
Anyways, here it is. Unedited for your reading pleasure. I’m doing my part to spread the word.

“Every device is adopted to make slaves of free men and rob them of their wages.” - Ida B. Wells
 
Various measures are being used to terrorize and enslave targeted victims, as well as to prevent others from interfering in the crimes or even helping the victims. Many people call these types of terrorist crimes “mind control.” After all, isn’t the fear or paranoia the victim experiences in the mind? Who, in this day and age, could agree to live as a criminal “slave,” unless they were brainwashed or something?! And how could anyone see evidence of terrorist crimes such as torture, and then fail to step forward, offer to help the victims, and speak out in defense of human rights, unless something were wrong with their minds?
 
In fact, those committing these crimes consider nearly everything they do to be part of a “terror and mind control plan.” Their methods include the terror tactics favored by the Ku Klux Klan prior to their defeat by our Civil Rights Movement. When you make an in depth study of the old K.K.K. white supremacist style of terror and control, you will clearly see that it is the same as that being used against us today. The only difference is that today’s terror and control tactics are likely to also employ criminal “slaves” using computors for remote control technology. Other terror and mind control tactics in use are designed either to drive the victim insane, make the victim seem insane, or deceive the victim into believing that he or she is being subjected to telepathy, voodoo, haunted by ghosts, or having other false supernatural experiences. One of the major terror/mind-control methods in use involves miniature short-wave receivers placed behind the skull. This is how the “slaves” receive their orders and also how many of the victims are driven insane. In addition, a reduced volume voice, broadcast into the head, is perceived by the victim as a thought. This is called thought implantation.
 
“To enslave men, successfully and safely, it is necessary to have their minds occupied with thoughts and aspirations short of the liberty of which they are deprived.” - Frederick Douglass
 
“We may no longer dodge or hesitate. We must all, black or white, Northerner or Southerner, stand in the light and speak plain words.” - W.E.B. DuBois
 
Many people want to help get the truth about these crimes of torture and terror out in the open, but feel confused about how to go about doing it. In fact, telling the truth is surprisingly simple and with practice, daring to make the effort becomes easier. With enough experience, your fear will fade so much that speaking out, posting flyers and handing out literature will seem natural to you. You can even begin by copying this information, handing it out, and discussing it with your coworkers, family, and friends. Everyone has a right to know that they are being subjected to these surgical procedures, that remote control technology is being used to torture, rape, and kill, and about other crimes against humanity.
 
Whenever these crimes are the topic of your conversation, be sure to speak as loudly and clearly as possible. That way, you can even make an impact on anyone in the vicinity, even those who are too fearful and shy to speak with you. And some of them will mention what they heard you say to their family and friends.
 
If you are one of the guilty individuals who made the mistake of becoming enslaved and found yourself involved in committing these crimes, then you probably have concrete evidence (such as a click box, puppetting gear, synthetic skin, bone-plaster, and etc.) in your possession. In that case, you are in a position to do even more for the cause of human rights and freedom. Once all this is out in the open, you could be arrested for possessing these things, but now, if you step forward, tell the truth and show the evidence, you will be rewarded with respect and gratitude. Because no one appreciates being a slave, others who feel trapped in that evil and ugly lifestyle will follow your example.
 
“I can tell you what I have seen with my own eyes, felt on my own person, and know to have occurred in my own neighborhood.” - Frederick Douglass

A few weeks ago I was walking along York Road, probably coming home from the mall. It was evening and getting dark out, so most of the shops were closing up. The Real Thing (which is a delicious sub shop that you need to try if you haven’t yet) flicked off its welcoming OPEN sign and killed the lights. Love Ones (the sex shop) was already closed.
 
As I was walking, I saw a man coming out of the Psychic Readings shop. He was with his family; little kids scurrying around every which way. In all of the confusion, as they were walking out the door, he announced “Damn, I forgot my keys. Stay here kids, I’ll be right back.”
 
I’m sorry, what?
 
Shouldn’t he have known that was going to happen? So… he can tell me who I’m going to marry and when I’m going to die, but his powers don’t cover things like “Where did I put my keys?” I wouldn’t recommend going there. Ever.
 
I’ve always thought it would be fun to get a psychic reading. I mean, I don’t believe in the stuff, but you’d come out of it with a funny story at least. Or if you did find yourself buying into it, you could have that horrifying epiphany where you’re like “Oh no, I’m an idiot.” Unfortunately, I can never get one now.
 
On top of the dude forgetting his keys, there is one other incident that has ruined psychics for me forever:
 
I delivered pizza to one. (I deliver pizzas.)
 
Yes, really. This one had her kids running around all over the place too (to be fair, this was in Parkville). It was a big order too, like two pizzas and a couple subs, with all these superfluous directions for us to bring extra napkins and forks and shit.
 
I realize that they are people too… but shouldn’t psychics be travelling around in a wagon living off of toad tears and lizard tongues? The thought of my psychic wolfing down a cheesesteak two minutes before telling me my future is utterly preposterous.
 
As I was leaving her house/place of business, she goes, “Have you ever had your reading done?”
 
I told her that I hadn’t. She replied, “You should come in, I’m a psychic you know.”
 
Yeah sure. The worst psychic ever.