I just spent the last 30 minutes reading entries about Towson (the town, not the school) on Urban Dictionary. For those unfamiliar, Urban Dictionary is a lot like Wikipedia. Vast, user-generated content, minus any sort of moderation and plus a billion spelling errors. It’s kind of a fun site, though. On Wikipedia, entries are usually fairly professional and well edited. Urban Dictionary, on the other hand, is sort of like “Lord of the Flies,” it’s a giant free for all. For every decent entry, you get to read nine more written by idiots. It’s total chaos.
 
There are a lot of “definitions” of Towson on the site; four pages worth to be exact. You can go read them yourself if you have the time, but for those of you with lives (clearly I don’t have one), I’ve broken down the majority of the entries into four categories. Most of what people have written there can be filed under one of the following headings:

• Fair Assessment/Not Retarded: There are a few Towson entries that, I feel, give an accurate portrayal of what things are like here. The best ones noted that Towson has a bit of everything. Yes, there are a lot of preps here, but you can’t forget about the thugs (usually at the mall), the punks (outside Towson Commons late at night, or outside The Recher), and the homeless people (often found on my front porch). Parts are rich, parts are trashy. Most of the girls are beautiful, but not all. During the school year you’ll find a good mix of high school kids trying to have some good clean fun and college kids walking around black out drunk. Towson has something for everyone.
• Written by a Giant Tool: A few posts were made by people who were, for some reason, proud to embrace the stereotypical douchebag jamook image typically associated with Towson guys. A choice quote, “The kids are rich, pretty, smart and the best at their sport, spending most of their time toking on a joint in a friends 70,000$ car or playing ruit in someones basement.” I mean, where does one begin mocking this post? I guess I’ll go with his ‘Towson kids are smart,’ assertion. Yeah, okay buddy. Oh yeah, and he calls beerpong ‘ruit’. It almost sounds like he’s being sarcastic, but if he is, he’s terrible at it. This is the view of Towson one might get by never leaving the house, or never straying too far from one’s highschool campus. That kind of person does exist here (although I’m sure they only THINK they’re rich, pretty, and smart), but it’s not really what Towson is about.
• Inside Jokes that No One Cares About: “omg and vommiting by the escalator of towson commons LOLZ!!!!!” Well, thanks for contributing nothing.
• High School Rivalries (that no one cares about): “Dulaney/Private-school wannabees that can’t beat Dulaney in lacrosse. Even in their plaid shorts.” Were we all this stupid in high school?

If you’re not from Towson, just reading this brief summary of two dozen people’s opinions might be enough to tell you what Towson is like. A good number of cool people trying to coexist with morons from all walks of life. Such is Towson.
 
I wish I had the energy to look up “Towson University”right now. If I did, I might pass out from the unintentional comedy overflowing from its pages.
 
Anyways, I’d be interested to hear a good description or Urban Dictionary-style definition of Towson (from smart people). So if you want to take a stab at it, leave a comment.