Too Close for Comfort

Posted by Ev
In News
13Sep 07

See!!!! I’m not crazy! Towson is fucked up.
 
On the front page of today’s Towerlight (in which I can be found on page 4 : ) ), there is an article called “Towson Robberies Continue.” It’s about a recent surge in armed robberies taking place in central Towson. The article supplies a map of the neighborhood, with recent incidents marked as stars.
 
Three of the four that have taken place in the last ten days are within a block of my house. Hooray.
 
The quote from the Baltimore County Police Spokesman was so dead on:

One of the difficulties we face is drug addicts coming off a long night looking for money. A vast majority of our robberies are driven by drugs.

 
Damn man, they’ve got it figured out. After a ridiculous all-night bender, all you have to do is go mess someone up with a pipewrench to finance tomorrow night’s festivities. It’s basic economics at work.
 
I should buy a gun… and/or a pet lion. Preferably the lion so that, when he’s not eating some burglar’s face, we can play fetch. Anyone know where to buy a humongous scratching post?
 
*** In related news, the FBI caught their number one most-wanted cocaine trafficker somewhere in South America. Think we’ll see a difference in Baltimore? ***


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